my apologies

if you see carter and he flips you off, he can't help it. why? well, because his mom almost cut that sweet, chubby, little middle finger off. it has taken me four days to decompress enough to post about the incident. but since most of y'all who read our blog already know what happened, i figured i owed you a picture at least. and if you're interested, here is the story: i accidentally closed the back door on carter's middle right finger tuesday night. we made quick work getting to the nearest ER and i ran in carrying a bleeding, diaper-clad carter (with a makeshift compress to stop the blood) and shouting to anyone within earshot, "i think i cut off his finger! help us! my baby's finger is coming off!". i guess i expected the ER to be kind of hectic and loud, but it was kind of like i walked into a library. but i was too panicked to be embarrassed. they got him into triage right away, and we put a cold compress on it. then he got xrayed, and then after a little wait, the ER dr (whose name was dr. house) stitched him up. his bone was not severed, and his finger should heal fine, with or without a fingernail is yet to be seen. carter was such a brave little guy, alternating with crying, screaming, laughing, calling the sterile gauze roll a donut, sharing his stickers (with his good hand), and saying at least 100 times, 'i need to go home mommy'. eden and dan were so wonderful, eden sat in the waiting room and prayed over and over for her little brother. my heart was (and still is) sick about the whole thing. but i have been assured by both the ER staff and pretty much everyone who sees him with many similar accidental 'severing stories'. but it was a humbling week for me as a mother, i feel as though i have lost the right to ever give any type of parenting advice again. all i can do is hug that little blond ball of energy (yes, even with a bum hand he is unstoppable) a million times over and try to forgive myself. thanks for all the kind words and prayers.