missing vlad

today i was driving to west u to meet some friends. we used to live over there at the houston scholar program (see website at left), where i was a resident director for two years. two years that changed me forever and i am so thankful for. before i was a mom to eden, i got to practice with 16 teenagers!

while i was driving over there today, i thought suddenly of vlad, one of my former 'kids'. vlad died about a year and half ago, and left a million unanswered questions surrounding him.
i miss him everyday, but am sometimes struck out of the blue with the sort of heartache that makes me have to stop what i am doing to recover. today it was while driving down montrose-- i couldn't stop thinking of all these small things that we did together. eating at la mexicana, watching vlad run the 1/2 marathon and holding signs for him turning the corner at richmond, the million times we had to run into kroger or walgreens to pick something up for school, vlad walking lucy for us, vlad practicing driving in our car, vlad riding bike with ricky after school, vlad staying at hsp on the weekends and hanging out with us, vlad interviewing my grandfather for a school project on wwII, vlad and paris leaning out the boys dorm window and throwing grapes at me, vlad teaching me how to make his mom's beans, vlad telling dan and i how much we meant to him and us telling him the same. while eden sat humming in the backseat, i cried and cried in the front.
i'm not sure the hurt of losing someone ever stops. i am sure i will cry many more tears over vlad. i am so thankful for his life, but will always wish he didn't take it. i miss him so.